after my exam d...

this month i fel i no more mood d...very moody...i dun knw y oso...y will bcum like that? after exam i shud happy wert? but y i stil wil fel moddy? wat happened to me? i fel i very less chat with ason...our relationship bcum far n far away...his friendster bcum no more comment...i asking myself...izit realy liek him or that time i fel lonely oli promise will 2gether with him? is that real love? i didnt get the ans...cuz i realy dun knw... v long time didnt talk n contact...until yesterday i reload...i call him...but i dun hav last time taht mood to talk n joke with him...y will like that? or wat i fel is real? wat i shud do now? izit break with him???
i dun wan to hurt him...wat i can do? i fel he realy like me... i not willing to hurt him but wat i can do? except break wat i stil can do???
b4 exam i fel very stress until 2day...even i not more stress but i worry my result...if i realy cant get credit wat i can do on my future? very confused...i dislike study...but i dislike working too...wanna die...realy realy stress...

ason...i fel our relationship bcum far n far away...

ason...this few day v less chat d...after i work thn v less sms n msn...at night just talk 4 awhile...if u go out with friends d v didnt talk oso...our distance too far away d...i dun knw shud break with u anot...i dun wan to hurt u at all...but wat i shud do now? i fel v shud nt continue like that...in real v just a couple that didnt see b4 n just chat in net n on phone...just like net friends...but i dun knw y that day will promise u to be ur gf...confused..i didnt regret to be ur gf..but the fact is v too far away...1 is from klang but i stay in ipoh...too less to meet...shud v break? i remember one times u tell me that u fel our relation like fake...that time i realy hurt...but now i oli knw it is realy...like fake...just said in sms n msn...but in real life u didnt see me b4...like that just will make each other more suffer...u need to work n need to take care ur friends n family...but u hav no time to come ipoh...i realy confused with this...ason, i think v hav to think carefuly about our relationship...v shud break or just continue like that u decide lah...

7th may 2008...

early in the mornign i wake up n go to having breakfast with my mom...suddenly my mom tell my aunt my hapii zai was get cancer...thn i ask my mom wat cancer he get...that is blood cancer...as i know,4 human blood cancer will recover if hav suitable bone narrow...but 4 pet i dun knw... after that i ask my mom where hapii zai hospital...i wan go visit him...after i decide to visit him thn i go to work i decide this sunday mean 11th may to visit him...but when 11.47am...my sis sms me n told me hapii zai was pass away...i get a shock...thn i reply her impossible...thn she said:"uncle chang told me just now" uncle chang actualy is hapii zai de real owner oso my dad friend...he gv us hapii zai but he oways come to ipoh n see him...this is frist time i gt my pet but he was leave me...damn pain in my heart...whole day i sitting at my counter...my eyes was red...i sitting there quiet...i cant do anything even talk...i scare to touch my phone oso...cuz inside my phone gt his pic n playing car de video...he was cute...i miss him...but i cant see his pic i scare i will cry out at my working place...ntg i can do...just tahan til home...when i back to my room...i look at my phone thn i cry out d...realy hurt...at night b4 slp i act i dun knw about hapii zai was death..i ask my 2nd sis when hapii zai back? she asking me back...u duno meh...he was death...thn i ask her y, n she told me all...thn she told me uncle chang tell 1st sis that a gud dog wont die front of owner..after i listen this i stop sad cuz i knw my hapii zai so clever n care abt us...i must not sad to make him cant rest in peace...word 4 hapii zai...even u death but in my heart u r alive 4ever...no one can take ur place...

what happened to him this few day???

omg...this few day fel he怪怪。。。wat happened to him? so scare me will rugi with my bf...in msn oways gv me kiss kiss...he knw i oli treat him like god brother...i oli my god brother lah...i dun knw wat shud do...shud i ask him??? i scare will make him 尴尬...wat shud i do...he knw i hav bf d...confused...last time when ppl dun knw us thn will said v r couple...but actualy v oli sister n brother...i just treat him as my bro...friends oways ask us 2gether...but he knw n i knw loh...even i slp one bad with him...but that night many ppl wont hav anything happened oso...haiz...wat shud do??? this few day owys chat n he oways said miss me n gv kiss...haiz...i oli like my bf...andrew...i'm sorry if u love me i realy wont 2gether with u cuz i oli wan him...v too friend d...too 了解 each other

dun knw y this few day like listen this kind of song....fel very meaningful

每一次都在徘徊孤单中坚强
每一次就算很受伤也不闪泪光
我知道我一直有双隐形的翅膀
带我飞飞过绝望
不去想他们拥有美丽的太阳
我看见每天的夕阳也会有变化
我知道我一直有双隐形的翅膀
带我飞给我希望
我终于看到所有梦想都开花
追逐的年轻歌声多嘹亮
我终于翱翔用心凝望不害怕
哪里会有风就飞多远吧

不去想他们拥有美丽的太阳
我看见每天的夕阳也会有变化
我知道我一直有双隐形的翅膀
带我飞给我希望
我终于看到所有梦想都开花
追逐的年轻歌声多嘹亮
我终於翱翔用心凝望不害怕
哪里会有风就飞多远吧
隐形的翅膀让梦恒久比天长
留一个愿望让自己想像

27-4-2008------28-4-2008

fel moody...haiz...
wat happened to me???
izit he change or i change d?
y i fel he nt like last time when v start 2gether???
haiz~
when he birthday v stil like normal n fel ok...
y after birthday he will change d??? or not he change is me???
CONFUSED!!!
wat i should do???
when morning...im busy~
after he sms me i reply him thn i didnt chat with him until i free...
that day morning state com...quite busy...at last cant hav chance competition in national team...
disappointed!!
i d try my best cuz i knw if i go national com i can see him~
national com will at K.L
but i d try my best i still cant
when i back home...raining heavily...i walk back to my home...
all cloth basah...
didnt tell him oso
after eating my dinner n bath thn i call him...when i call him, 1st call he said dun call him he bc...i cant listen clear,thn he terus close...i call the second times..he tell me he at cc...SHOCK!!!
just now said bc but now at cc...
haiz~last time when he go out with friends he will tell me...izit i too care him???izit i 'bang' him d???
he tell me he dislike ppl control him too much~
haiz~
wat i should do???


28-4-2008
early in the morning...i wake up n go out walk walk...thn go buy birthday present 4 him...walk so many place d...but stil cant buy... very tired d...cuz slp nt wel...after 10.30am i tot he wake up d...thn i call him, cuz i wan ask him change other colour can anot...i wan ask him cuz i scare i buy it he will dislike...
i call the 1st times...he didnt ans...after 1 hour...i call the second times...he said he at ktv...one more SHOCK again!!!i ask him y just now didnt ans my cal he said he at ktv n phone set silent d...so didnt listen to it...
omg!!!haiz...i ask him when back home...he said 12.++pm
thn i wwait till that time...when i call him he said stil havent back...i wait again...wait til omost 1.++pm he said he at friend's shop...n i call him n chat with him...i fel v nt suitable 2gether...in phone he kep on ask me izit gt anything wan said to him...i kep on ask him he fel wat i wan to said to him...but he said he dun knw...i oso dun knw wat i shud said...very confused...he said he need freedom....he said like that izit mean that i too control him???wat i shud do???all his thing i no need care d??he said he need his friends...i didnt said nt allowed he 2gether with his friends cuz i knw im nt beseides him...when he was unhapi he need to find his frends to play n relax...at last i didnt tell out the two word...cuz i knw i realy put my ful heart to love him...at night...after chat thn he go shopping at k.l...thn i wait him back..when he back home n we chat again i fel better d...now v like last times...i fel myself cant dun hav him...i realy love him with my ful heart...

ngo 2008

proud...the 1st times get nursing team n ambulance team oso get 3rd
the 2nd times our nursing team get 2nd n ambulance team get 1st...
lst year ngo make me very angry n i denda them til very 'gou li'
this year i didnt go back n train them but i gt see the movie...realy nice...but in the bus there gt abit paiseh thing...y the new 'kou hao' so geli one...
this year ngo competition at smk buntong...( actualy i dun knw where oso...just knw that is a place)LOLX
omg the headmaster oso crazy with u all...
haha...abit happy cuz u all can get this marching again n again...last times v hav to join other unit at school now oli st john~
in yuk choy i hope st john is the best init beruniform...
u all did it very year graduation st john oso get the award ( pasukan yang terbaik)
very proud...all the best YUK CHOY ST JOHN!!!!
the link of ngo video
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NRqDe6Q-cKk