scary!!! scary!!!

dailure n stomache 4 one week d...at last i go see my m.o...when he press my perut i was push away his hand...nt cuz of geli...is bcuz of painful...i very scare pain want...i wan get shock bcuz he order the nurse to do blood test..omg!! i scare injection til i rather pain til die oso dun wan injection...actually all of the nurse is i knw want...my coworkers...she finding my 'xue guan' i very cabi want...very hard to find...cucuk 3 times oli get the blod...at m.o there hypor 1st time...after that they didnt take the 'zhen' come out anymore..just put a stoper there...omg...it realy realy painful...m.o ask me to admit...that time i refuse n they tell me is very dangerous if i didnt admit...aiyo...i very degil want...i stil dun wan admit...hahax...i rest there until the specialist DR.koh come n see me...the said must admit n he wil call my parents...ok loh...i just folow wat he said...he kep me fasting oso...cuz scare will doing operation after the ultra-sound...the wai kuan gv me an no air-cond room...whole nite cant slp...i walk back to my ward...damn boring...seeing my coworkers eating MCD...i cant eat...but that time im nt hungry...haiz...the suffer life in hosp...so hard oli wait til morning...

i back to WD5 that time they til me very hard to find me...i just kep laughing...cuz they want to do obsevation...just awhile DR koh cum already...he told me that need operation after see the ultra-sound report...omg...that time i very scare... i cry...after few min thn the nurse cum in n told me that i need put drip...haiz...i put drip to ppl many times lah...but ppl help me put drip is 1st times...haiz...it was very painful...cry again loh...i refuse d thn i ask her can dun wan put anot...she said cant...wtf...she said scare me fainted cuz i cant eat...i didnt put oso until i baxk to WD 7a after ultra-sound...

after that all coworkers come in n ask me wat happened...hahax...i oso dun knw how to explain...after that one of my friend come in tell me to change the 'baju operation' that time i very scare...omg...i see ppl wear it thn many time d but i first time wear it...haiz...it ready to operation d...wat i can do? i cant do anything...lucky gt all my coworkers...if nt i knw i will fainted b4 i do the operation...they joking with me...ask the operation threater staff to guess me who m i...sure they dun knw me...cuz i very scare go in there...anywhere i hav to go in oso...

after i go in i bcum more scare...i cry again...haiz...one of the staff in 'ot' i knw want...cuz her mother is my patient last time...an indian man...dun knw his name...but i stil very scare even he kep talking to me...no use want...they see me cry they kep tel me no need to scare...ntg want,just a small operation...4 me how small oso is cut me lah...omg...the 'ma jiu' doc cum in is make me most scare want...cuz it will be start soon...one nurse was kep talk with me...but that time i d hypor again...i dun knw wat i do d...i dun knw wat shud do...just kep on crying...the doc said just relax n look at the light thn will slp d...he said he will gv me an injection...i try to hide my hand that time...cuz i scare injection...he knw d...he told me just put from the drip's tube...nt cuck at hand want...

i see them d ready to do it...scary...the nurse holding my hand til i fully slp...i can fel it...n i cant fel they kep check my blood presure on my 'rt' hand...n checking my pulse at my 'lt' hand 2nd finger...that time realy realy scare...i see a nurse open a yellow colour thing...i cant see it clear but i think is 'gr' lah...'gr' put in my mouth to open my airway...kep me breathing...they put a mask to gv me oxygen...when put 'gr' i d slp...hahax...

when i wake up oli fel pain n my thoart very sweet...like eat sweet when slp...but fel like want to vomit too...i cant tahan the pain n 'ma jiu' nt fully gone...i very slpy but kep said pain...the nurse told me thta she already gv me 2 times pain killer...i just kept slping oli...when they want me to shift to another bed i oso dun wan to move...very slpy n pain...i dun knw how they shif me oso...haha...when i open my eye n fully concious 1st i was seeing is my aunty n all my coworkers...but that time i oso wat to do...stil slpy...that time i oso can drink cant eat anymore...haiz...but with drip wont fel hungry want lah...

but now i fel ok d...thx all the staff n all my friends...thank god to kep me safe...may god bless u all oso...

right here waiting..

Oceans apart day after day
And I slowly go insane
I hear your voice on the line
But it doesn't stop the pain
If I see you next to never
How can we say forever
Wherever you go
Whatever you do
I will be right here waiting for you
Whatever it takes
Or how my heart breaks
I will be right here waiting for you
I took for granted all the times
That I thought would last somehow
I hear the laughter
I taste the tears
But I can't get near you now
Oh can't you see it baby
You've got me going crazy
I wonder how we can survive this romance
But in the end if I'm with you
I'll take the chance
Oh can't you see it baby
You've got me going crazy
waiting for you~

i'm sad cuz he 4gt it d...

im getting shock cuz he was 4gt the song i send to him...im missing my dad alot...wat can i do? i dun knw oso...although i knw he stil care me...but i realy cant control myself...wat can i do? i realy dun knw...!!!!!!haiz...last nite i ask him to sing that song to me again...but he told me that he 4gt d...i intro him a song...but im sad that time...i dun kn i can find who to tell out all this...haiz...

下一个天亮

用起伏的背影 挡住哭泣的心
有些故事 不必说给 每个人听
许多眼睛 看的太浅太近
错过我没被看见 那个自己

用简单的言语 解开超载的心
有些情绪 是该说给 懂的人听
你的热泪 比我激动怜惜
我发誓要更努力 更有勇气

等下一个天亮
去上次牵手赏花那里散步好吗
有些积雪会自己融化
你的肩膀是我豁达的天堂

等下一个天亮
把偷拍我看海的照片送我好吗
我喜欢我飞舞的头发
和飘着雨还是眺望的眼光

用简单的言语 解开超载的心
有些情绪 是该说给 懂的人听
你的热泪 比我激动怜惜
我发誓要更努力 更有勇气

等下一个天亮
去上次牵手赏花那里散步好吗
有些积雪会自己融化
你的肩膀是我豁达的天堂

等下一个天亮
把偷拍我看海的照片送我好吗
我喜欢我飞舞的头发
和飘着雨还是眺望的眼光

时间可以磨去我的棱角
有些坚持却永远磨不掉
请容许我 小小的骄傲
因为有你这样的依靠

等下一个天亮
去上次牵手赏花那里散步好吗
有些积雪会自己融化
你的肩膀是我豁达的天堂
等下一个天亮
把偷拍我看海的照片送我好吗
我喜欢我飞舞的头发
和飘着雨还是眺望的眼光

sorry blame it on me..that nt ur wrong...

As life goes on I'm starting to learn more and more about responsibility
And I realize that everything I do is affecting the people around me
So I want to take this time out to apologize for things that
I've done things that haven't occurred yet
and things that they don't want to take responsibility for

I'm sorry for the times that I left you home
I was on the road and you were alone
I'm sorry for the times that I had to go
I'm sorry for the fact that I did not know

That you were sitting home just wishing we
Could go back to when it was just you and me
I'm sorry for the times I would neglect
I'm sorry for the times I disrespect

I'm sorry for the wrong things that I've done
I'm sorry I'm not always there for my sons
I'm sorry for the fact that I'm not aware
That you can't sleep at night when I am not there

Because I'm in the streets like everyday
I'm sorry for the things that I did not say
Like how you are the best thing in my world
And how I'm so proud to call you my girl

I understand that there's some problems
And I'm not too blind to know
All the pain you kept inside you
Even though you might not show

If I can't apologize for being wrong
Then it's just a shame on me
I'll be the reason for your pain
And you can put the blame on me

You can put the blame on me
You can put the blame on me
You can put the blame on me
You can put the blame on me

Said you can put the blame on me
Said you can put the blame on me
Said you can put the blame on me
You can put the blame on me

I'm sorry for the things that he put you through
And all the times you didn't know what to do
I'm sorry that you had to go and sell those bags
Just trying to stay busy until you heard from dad

When you would rather be home with all your kids
As one big family with love and bliss
And even though pops treated us like kings
He got a second wife and you didn't agree

He got up and left you there all alone
I'm sorry that you had to do it on your own
I'm sorry that I went and added to your grief
I'm sorry that your son was once a thief

I'm sorry that I grew up way to fast
I wish I would of listened and not be so bad
I'm sorry that your life turned out this way
I'm sorry that the feds came and took me away

I understand that there's some problems
And I'm not too blind to know
All the pain you kept inside you
Even though you might not show

If I can't apologize for being wrong
Then it's just a shame on me
I’ll be the reason for your pain
And you can put the blame on me

You can put the blame on me
You can put the blame on me
You can put the blame on me
You can put the blame on me

Said you can put the blame on me
Said you can put the blame on me
Said you can put the blame on me
You can put the blame on me

I'm sorry that it took so long to see
But they were dead wrong trying to put it on me
I'm sorry that it took so long to speak
But I was on tour with Gwen Stefani

I'm sorry for the hand that she was dealt
And for the embarrassment that she felt
She's just a little young girl trying to have fun
But daddy should of never let her out that young

I'm sorry for Club Zen getting shut down
I hope they manage better next time around
How was I to know she was underage
In a 21 and older club they say

Why doesn't anybody want to take blame
Verizon backed out disgracing my name
I'm just a singer trying to entertain
Because I love my fans I'll take that blame

Even though the blame's on you
Even though the blame's on you
Even though the blame's on you
I'll take that blame from you

And you can put that blame on me
And you can put that blame on me
You can put that blame on me
You can put that blame on me

And you can put that blame on me

And you can put that blame on me

that why u go away...the 1st song i send to U

baby, won't you tell me why?
there is sadness in your eyes
i don't wanna say 'goodbye' to you
love is one big illusion
i should try to forget
but there's something left in my head
you're the one who set it up
and you're the one to make it stop
i'm the one who's feeling lost right now
now you wanted to forget
every little thing you said
but there's something left in my head
i won't forget the way your kiss is
the feeling so strong
we'll last for so long
but i'm not the man
your heart is missing
that's why you go away, i know
you were never satisfied
no matter how i tried
now you wanna say 'goodbye' to me
love is one big illusion
i should try to forget
but there's something left in my head
i won't forget the way your kiss is
the feeling so strong
we'll last for so long
but i'm not the man
your heart is missing
that's why you go away, i know
sitting here all alone in the middle of nowhere
don't know which way to go
there ain't so much to say now between us
there ain't so much for you
there ain't so much for me anymore
i won't forget the way your kiss is
the feeling so strong
we'll last for so long
but i'm not the man
your heart is missing
that's why you go away, i know
that's why you go away, i know

v wont d in parade day...happy...

even i didnt go but i can felt the happiness...n/c are the best...i tot v will lose in nursing team..but now they told me they was win...happy...lolx...a/a sure win want no ned me wory geh...but a/c jao abit gek sum...let the team i most hate win jor idiot poi lam...marching like shit stil win...arghh!!! im so happy that u all shang shing jor...no need other worry jor...but i hope to join icc camp...y no one come ask me geh? at 2005 i d said i wan jin n i promise my team leader in national cadet camp i will join...sob...m i stil a cadet? actualy im adult 3rd year jor...but i stil 18 oli so im stil a cadet this is last year 4 me loh...haiz...hope can join it lah...i knw it is nice...s'gor officer told me that,that camp gt go k.l gai gai want...long time didnt shopping liao...i hope to see back all my other state geh friends oso...pang,my didi keong, kenneth ng,swee wai(sir ho) same name with my danny gor gor...lolx,calvin ng,lee weng foo,fu zai,kelvin tan,ykp,gt alot lah...haiz...hope to meet them again...miss my daddy alot ar...(my love will get you home) dun knw wat to do oso...oways think negatively n scold by gor(chin yang) i knw he scold me is 4 my own good...but i just stil the same...i cant change oso...i dun kn wy lah...i just will sms with him all the times...stil very very lovbe him...i think he knw oso lah...but he just can treat me as his sis loh...he oways told me that it wont change but i dun knw how oso lah...just hope he will knw tat loh...i gt try to accept other but the fact stil the same...haiz...anywhere they wont jor i very hapy oso lah...our duty hour stil get the 1st!!! yeah!!!one division can duty more thn 50000 hours...geng ar..!!!love them very much...remember the kou hao v hav...i stil remember abit jek...lolx...4gtful...haha...hope i can see u all ler...